Friday, July 22, 2011

Drive It Like You Stole It (by Reverend Doctor Goodluck Taylor)

I was stuck at an extremely long red light the other day and couldn't help but read the various bumper stickers on the truck in front of me.  It had the obligatory "Too Low For Fat Ho's" and Monster Energy drink logo stickers on the windows.  If you're not familiar with the Monster logo it's a way cool and frightening image that resembles the aftermath of a green dinosaur claw.  It's almost as if the driver is saying "YEAH!  Mess with me and I'll claw you to death...because I'm full of sugar and taurine!"

While those stickers were pretty amusing the one that really caught my attention simply stated "Drive It Like You Stole It".  About that time the light turned green and he (I"m assuming the driver was male, due to the lack of "bitch on board" or "cowgirl up" stickers) peeled off and sped away.  I'm pretty sure I heard an excited "WOOOOO!!!".

Anyway, the whole "Drive It Like You Stole It" thing really annoyed me.  I mean, I get it.  You stole it and it's a fast truck, so drive it really fast.  But wouldn't you want to drive the speed limit if you were in a stolen vehicle?  Wouldn't you do a quick check to make sure your inspection and registration are both up to date?  I mean, come on'd be pretty stupid to get pulled over in a stolen truck just because you were speeding.  But I guess when you paste a sticker like that on the back of your vehicle intelligence really isn't a factor anymore.

Eh, screw it.  I think I'll just join the club, go get a 40 oz Mountain Dew, hop in my car, yell "GET 'ER DONE" and just drive it like I stole it.  WOOOOOHHH!

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